Sunday, June 27, 2010

patrick kane autographs & school halls - two

Being back in that house in Windsor was like stepping back into time. Back to all the haunted memories I didn't want to deal with again. Knowing she used to live here at one point, it was causing some kind of mind wash I couldn't handle.

I put my bag at the foot of my bed and my dad followed behind with my suitcase. It's silent. Not surprising. The once yellow walls here now a lilac colour, with cherry coloured furniture, and a matching purple bed spread. I kicked my shoes off and began to walk around the room. Most of my awards I got as a kid playing hockey were still here, keychains, sea shells, and photographs. My eyes got attached to the framed Chicago Blackhawks poster hanging up beside my bed, and it was autographed.

"I didn't forget how much you loved them." My dad says clutching onto my shoulders.

Tears began to fill my eyes, it reminded me of my Mom. "Who signed it?"

"Patrick Kane. I tried to get Jon to sign it, but, he took off."

"That sounds like him." I joked through my tears.

"We'll get through this, Ally. We will."

I turn around and hug my Dad for a short moment. He tells me it's 10 at night, and school started tomorrow. I could feel my stomach turning in 5 million different directions. Time to start all over again ...

The sun peers through the curtains and causes me to stir in my sleep. Time for school. Oh joy, what trainwreck did life have planned out for me today? Falling face first? Nawh. Tripping in front of a cute guy? Yeah, that was more traumatizing.

I slid on a pair of denim shorts and my Patrick Sharp Hawks T-shirt, brushed my teeth, washed my face, swept on some mascara to wake up my green eyes, and threw my long brown wavy hair into a ponytail. As always, this is as good as it's gunna get. As you can see, I'm VERY confident in myself.

As I get downstairs, there's a note on the kitchen table, I placed two pieces of bread into the toaster and read the note while I waited.

"Ally, I meant to say, I have to work at 7 am every morning. Your School starts at 9. Go look outside, your homecoming gift is waiting for you. Love, Dad."

I slapped some peanut butter on my toast and washed it down with milk. In one swift motion, I slid on my flip flops, grabbed my phone, backpack and locked the house up. A black Volkswagen Jetta sat in the drive way, with a note saying, "check behind the tires for the key'. I laughed and headed into the car. Not bad.

My nerves were on edge the closer I got to the school. I wasn't gunna fit in, that's all I knew. I kept my head down as I headed into the office.

"Hey, Hawks suck!"

"Fuck you!" I spat back.

Lovely, not even a minute in the school, and I'm already harassed. Cool joke.

The office was much more updated than the one at my old school. It had no carpet, just glossy floors, high tech computers, and no musty smell. It was quite refreshing. A tall woman with grey hair wrapped up in a bun sent me a warm smile as I approached her. She passed me a map and my schedule.

"Hey, Kenny! Why don't you show her where Mr. Willis' class is."

I turn around and see some obnoxious kid standing behind me. He must've stood 6 feet tall, had bright eyes and a beaming smile.

"No, I can find it myself." I reply walking back into the hall.

"So, what? You're here 5 seconds and you think you're too good for us?"

"Are you following me?"

He smirks, "Yes, I am. Now, you want help or not?"

"No, I don't."

He lets out from ridiculous laugh and takes a step closer to me. "Alright, Mrs. Patrick Sharp. We'll see how far that attitude gets you."

"You did not just call me that!"

"I so did. Listen, you're on a new ground. Either accept it, or you'll get stomped on."

"Thanks for the friendly advice." I sarcastically replied walking away from him.

What a freaking idiot.

I headed into my Chemistry class and sit down waiting for class to start. One by one everyone was piling in. I saw Kenny walk in, he pouted at me before he sat down. My phone buzzed beside me. I picked it up, it was a text from Gabby.

"Allo Ally. I hope you have a good first day. I hear the Spitfires attend your school. Kennayyy! :)"

"Ew, that's the Kenny you always talk about?"


"Yes, and he has the brain of a 5 year old."

"I'd put that phone away, Willis might steal it."

I could feel my heart pounding in my throat, my hands begin to shake as I put my phone down. I slowly looked up and was staring into the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen in my life.

Friday, June 25, 2010

set me free - one

August 2008 ;

I look across the table at two bright eyes. The eyes of my best friend Gabriella, or Gabby as I called her. I just told her the news that I had to move to Windsor to be with my Dad. I was staying there until graduation. I had to get out of this town. Half the time I was upset, and the other half I forced myself to be happy, which only upset me more.

"I think you should go, Ally. It's what your Mom would've wanted."

My Mother. She was the reason I was leaving. For years my Mom dealt with being Bipolar, which then suddenly turned into a deep depression. She didn't want to get help, my Father tried to push her into it. Of course she screamed at him and walked out. My Dad made me move to Edmonton to live with my Grandma so he could sort everything out. Then three months ago, my mom finally cracked, locked herself in her room and hung herself with one of my Dad's ties.

This brought on a lot of anger, sadness, and questioning. Why didn't she even say goodbye to me? Did she even love me? It sure never felt like that after my 6th birthday. Now I was a 17 year old girl, going into my senior year of highschool in a new city. I was scared as hell.

"Maybe you're right Gabby. I need to be happy." I let out a nervous laugh and shake my head. "It's funny, cause when I'm happy, I fell like ... she's still alive."

She sends me a sympathetic smile and squeezes my hand, "You'll get through this, I'm always here."

"I know," I whisper on account I was starting to tear up yet again.

"Alyssa, come on! We're gunna be late."

I get up from the table and hold onto my best friend for dear life. The tears are both pouring out of us and I can feel Gabby's arms shaking against my shoulder blades. I was going to miss her so much. Two years without her seems like a lifetime.

"Here, I want you to have this," Gabby whimpers taking off a charm bracelet off her wrist.

She clasps it onto my wrist and I stare at it. It's the Juicy Couture one her Dad gave her for her 14th birthday. The one she always wanted. She begged him for 3 months to get it for her. Now she was giving it to me. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend than her.

"Gab, are you sure?"

She nods at me, "Yes, I am. I want a part of me with you."

Then a lightbulb when off in my head, "Wait, I got an idea!"

I grab her hand and take her outside. I viciously open up my suitcase, and fished through my clothes. I grabbed my Jonathan Toews Chicago Blackhawks jersey out of bottom of the pile and pass it to her. She argued with me for 5 minutes about not wanting to take it from me. But I tell her it's okay.

"We can both keep it for a month a time, and when we mail it back to each other, we'll write a letter telling what each other what happened while we wear it. Maybe it can give us both a miracle. This was the greatest gift my Mother ever got me," I confess as a tear fell from my eyes, "It was the last time I fully saw her happy, is when I opened it up."

She clutches the jersey to her chest, "I'll take good care of it, I promise. Oh, and if the hawks come to town, I'll try my hardest to get Jon to sign it. I know how much you love him."

"Thanks, Gabby. I love you."

She pulls me into another hug, I really had to leave. I get into the car and look at her as my Grandma reverses out of the driveway. I could feel my heart lurching in the worst way possible as I got farther from the house. It was time to move on, something good had to happen. It just had to.