Friday, June 25, 2010

set me free - one

August 2008 ;

I look across the table at two bright eyes. The eyes of my best friend Gabriella, or Gabby as I called her. I just told her the news that I had to move to Windsor to be with my Dad. I was staying there until graduation. I had to get out of this town. Half the time I was upset, and the other half I forced myself to be happy, which only upset me more.

"I think you should go, Ally. It's what your Mom would've wanted."

My Mother. She was the reason I was leaving. For years my Mom dealt with being Bipolar, which then suddenly turned into a deep depression. She didn't want to get help, my Father tried to push her into it. Of course she screamed at him and walked out. My Dad made me move to Edmonton to live with my Grandma so he could sort everything out. Then three months ago, my mom finally cracked, locked herself in her room and hung herself with one of my Dad's ties.

This brought on a lot of anger, sadness, and questioning. Why didn't she even say goodbye to me? Did she even love me? It sure never felt like that after my 6th birthday. Now I was a 17 year old girl, going into my senior year of highschool in a new city. I was scared as hell.

"Maybe you're right Gabby. I need to be happy." I let out a nervous laugh and shake my head. "It's funny, cause when I'm happy, I fell like ... she's still alive."

She sends me a sympathetic smile and squeezes my hand, "You'll get through this, I'm always here."

"I know," I whisper on account I was starting to tear up yet again.

"Alyssa, come on! We're gunna be late."

I get up from the table and hold onto my best friend for dear life. The tears are both pouring out of us and I can feel Gabby's arms shaking against my shoulder blades. I was going to miss her so much. Two years without her seems like a lifetime.

"Here, I want you to have this," Gabby whimpers taking off a charm bracelet off her wrist.

She clasps it onto my wrist and I stare at it. It's the Juicy Couture one her Dad gave her for her 14th birthday. The one she always wanted. She begged him for 3 months to get it for her. Now she was giving it to me. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend than her.

"Gab, are you sure?"

She nods at me, "Yes, I am. I want a part of me with you."

Then a lightbulb when off in my head, "Wait, I got an idea!"

I grab her hand and take her outside. I viciously open up my suitcase, and fished through my clothes. I grabbed my Jonathan Toews Chicago Blackhawks jersey out of bottom of the pile and pass it to her. She argued with me for 5 minutes about not wanting to take it from me. But I tell her it's okay.

"We can both keep it for a month a time, and when we mail it back to each other, we'll write a letter telling what each other what happened while we wear it. Maybe it can give us both a miracle. This was the greatest gift my Mother ever got me," I confess as a tear fell from my eyes, "It was the last time I fully saw her happy, is when I opened it up."

She clutches the jersey to her chest, "I'll take good care of it, I promise. Oh, and if the hawks come to town, I'll try my hardest to get Jon to sign it. I know how much you love him."

"Thanks, Gabby. I love you."

She pulls me into another hug, I really had to leave. I get into the car and look at her as my Grandma reverses out of the driveway. I could feel my heart lurching in the worst way possible as I got farther from the house. It was time to move on, something good had to happen. It just had to.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gooooddd.
    This is heart-wrenching!
    But so so so good so far Ally! <3
    I'm a madz happy about you making another Hall story.
    Keep going keep going, I know this is gonna be great.